Save Your Advice

Did you ever notice that almost as soon as you’ve inhaled the new baby smell from your little bundle of joy someone is there to offer ‘advice’?

From sleeping to eating there’s always a guaranteed trick to make you the perfect Mum with a baby that eats anything, sleeps all night and is toilet trained by 10 months.

The only advice that I would give to those so knowledgable; hold your lip until your asked.

Being a first time Mum is so hard without the constant second guessing and feelings of judgement. We know you mean well but put it in a different context- imagine you take on something new, a job perhaps. How would it feel if I came round and told you what you should be doing in your job, not supporting you and praising you for what you were doing well with?  I know you might have had four children and they all survived but do you know what: all children are different, times change and you have clearly forgotten how annoying the constant ‘advice’ part is!

For the first year (sometimes 2), my hormones are still a bit crazy. I’m flustered, sleep deprived and trying to wrestle with the idea of leaving my clingy child with someone else to raise whilst I return to work (which covers child care cost and only a little more!). I spend most of my (minimal) free time googling baby sleep training, healthy baby meals and baby milestones to make sure I am conforming to the expectations of society and doing all I can to help support my little growing human. Adding in the inevitable splash of baby blues, lack of social life and dwindling romance I don’t need the additional sh*t the your advice brings.

Its not that I don’t care about what you think, its because I care too much. What you think means a lot to me. Every word of advice makes me think I’m doing it wrong. Every look or laugh when I muck it up just reminds me there is always someone there to watch me fall.

So please save your advice and support me in the ways i really need (make me a coffee, offer to take a washing away, empty my dishwasher when you come for coffee or just hold my perfect little bundle of joy for ten minutes).

 

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